Title: Reach Out and Touch Someone
Author: Louise Wu,  Email Me
Fandom: X-Files
Pairing: M/K
Rating: NC-17 for male/male sex
Spoilers: none?
Warning: Silly.
Summary: Krycek tells Mulder a fantasy over the phone.
Beta Thanks: Loren Q, Susan, Alex
Disclaimer: Krycek and Mulder belong to Chris Carter and 1013 Productions. No infringement of rights is intended.

I am a rock. No one touches me. I fuck with a lot of feeling. It's the burning intensity of sex that gets me off. But I don't allow anyone past the boundaries of my body. Even when I finally nailed the man I'd been lusting after for years, it was still just sex.

Until Mulder went to Little Rock on a case. I missed him. God dammit. I'd fucked the man a half dozen times. And now I was missing him.

He'd been gone all week. Coming home on Friday. At least according to the files I'd hacked from the Bureau travel agent... Thursday night I finally cracked and phoned his hotel. It was about 11 P.M. in Arkansas. I was more than a little nervous about calling him, but I wanted to hear his voice.


"Hey, it's me."

"Hey." He didn't even ask how I knew where he was.

"Is it okay that I called?"

"Yeah. I was just lying here with my hand in my shorts."

"Smut on pay per view?"

"Nope. Apparently that's too sophisticated for Motel 6."

"You wanna hear a bedtime story?"

Mulder didn't answer for a long pause. "You know, Alex, with your damned sexy-ass voice you could read the phone book and I could get off."

Sweet. That alone was worth the call.

"Mulder, take off your shorts. If I'm going to tell you a story I want you naked."

A few muffled sounds and he replied, "Done."

"What kind of story do you want? Boys? Girls? Mutants or something?"

"It all works for me, Alex. Be creative."

"Hmm... okay. Let's see. You're in the cabin of a ship--you know the ocean-going kind. It's a pirate ship. You're lying naked on a quilt."

"How'd I get there?"

"It's just a story, Mulder. Not an X-File."

"But I got there somehow."

"Fine. You were in Loch Ness, looking for Nessie. The last thing you remember is that your tiny little boat--you know those Bureau travel budgets--was shattered to pieces by a storm. You wake up in what has to be the captain's quarters. Okay, now?"


"You jacking off?"

"Not very seriously. You haven't gotten to the good part yet."

"Whose fault is that?"

"Okay, okay. Continue. Please."

"You can feel the rocking motions of the ship. And then you hear the sound of the door opening... A big, tall, blonde, Viking type comes in."

"Blonde, huh?"

"It's Loch Ness, Mulder. Think Viking raiders."

"Can he at least have emerald green eyes?"

I felt a sudden tightness in my throat, and for a minute, I couldn't speak. How could this beautiful man have gone untaken for so long? Un-fucking-believable that he wanted Alex Krycek in his fantasy.


"Yeah, he can have green eyes." I clear my throat. "Okay, so the big, green-eyed Viking marches in. He's dressed rather like a pirate, but his shirt is open so you can see his muscular pecs. Kind of like Skinner with blonde hair. You can't help but notice the prominent bulge in his pants."

"But, of course," Mulder replies with a chuckle.

I liked the sound of his laugh. And I can't believe I'm telling Fox Mulder a pirate story. "He puts a thick hand on your shoulder. 'My boy's awake,' he says in a low voice. 'I'm not your boy!' you shriek back at him."

"I do not shriek."

"Yeah, you said it just like that."

I could hear his frown over the phone. Now I had to make him laugh again.

"Sven--that's the blonde guy, right?--crosses his arms on his chest defiantly. 'I'm the captain of this ship. I pulled you out of the water. You belong to me. You want me to throw you back in?' You cleverly reply, 'Uh, no.' 'Good. Then you belong to me.' 'Just what are you planning on doing with me, Captain?' Sven strokes your butt with a meaty paw and raises an eyebrow. You jump up from the bed and stand to face him. 'I'm not that kind of boy.'"

"I wouldn't say that."

"It's my story. Shut up and enjoy it."



"You know, Alex, when you're talking my parts your voice is different. It's a bit higher and kind of monotone."

I roll my eyes. "Sven grabs you by the shoulders. He outweighs you by about 80 lbs and it's all muscle, so you can't really fight him off. He throws you face down on the bed. Holding you down with one hand at your mid-back, he starts smacking your bare ass. You cry out, 'Hey! Stop that!' And he says, 'I'm not stopping until you admit that you're my boy.' You reply, 'Not in your lifetime, buddy.' Then he hits your butt really hard. You call out, 'Ow! That hurts.' Sven says, 'Say it!' You resist for a long time, but he's not holding back on the blows any more and your ass is on fire, so finally you say in a whimpering voice filled with resentment, 'All right, I'm your boy.'"

"I'm kind of a wuss in your story, Alex."

"You're a cabin boy, Mulder. Get over it." I switch the phone to the other ear. "You beating off?"

"Yeah, but at this rate-"

"Hold your dick, I'm getting there! So Sven stops spanking you. You notice with dread that he's taking his clothes off. As he drops his trousers, he pulls out a dick that's about twice the size of yours."

"Isn't that a bit much?"

"It's a fantasy, Mulder. The cocks are always huge."

"As long as it doesn't hurt too much..."

"In a fantasy it always hurts, but never too much."

"'kay." His voice sounded juvenile. Of course that fit the reading level of my story.

"Sven tosses you a bottle of aromatic oil. 'Put it on me, boy.' You reply, 'But, um, Captain. Sir?' You point at his dick. 'That's going to hurt.' He pats you on the head."

"Is this supposed to turn me on? 'He pats me on the head.' What're you thinking, Alex?"

"It's my story, Mulder. When you tell a story you can have Sven pat me on the head. Besides you said that my voice was enough to get you off. My story is certainly better than the phone book. Johnson, Adam. Johnson, Alan. Johnson, Allen. Ahem . I think I've made my point. Now back to Johnson, Sven... Sven pats you on the head and says in a booming voice, 'Don't worry boy, you can handle it.' Reluctantly, you apply the oil to his mammoth erection. Then he says, 'Get yourself ready, boy.' So you get up on all fours, oil up your fingers and reach back to lube yourself."

"That's rather humiliating."

I breathe for a moment. "It's fucking hot, Mulder, imagining you doing that to yourself. I'm jacking off here."

"Um, Alex, what are you wearing?"

"Not a thing. And neither is our cabin boy. You slide one oiled finger inside yourself and then a second. Just fucking yourself like that, on your long beautiful fingers, you let out a desperate moan. Sven's fat dick is starting to seem like a really good idea. Your fingers glide in and out of your sweet ass, making you so needy your butt is starting to quiver. Sven is practically drooling over you. He finally calls out, 'Enough, boy.' You remove your fingers and look up at him longingly. He pounces on you, knocking you flat on your belly. Sven's strong fingers pry open your round, white butt cheeks. His fat cock head teases your anus for a minute, before he pushes it into you."

I was losing it there for a moment, starting to stroke myself faster. Jeez.

"Alex?" His voice is heavier somehow. "Don't. Stop."

"You groan and lift your butt eagerly as he shoves his cock deep into your ass. His dick is impossibly long and thick. You've never felt anything like it. He thrusts into you fast and hard, the weight of his body threatening to send you careening head first into the head of the bunk. Oh, fuck!"

I struggle to keep the phone at my ear while I shoot wildly onto my chest. Finally I retrieve the phone and manage to speak, "You still there, Mulder?"

"More or less." I could tell by his weak voice that he'd come, too.

"You came already? I didn't get to hear you."

"Hearing you is what brought me off."

"Not my great story?"

I swear to god he giggled into the phone. "Aren't you going to finish it? You can't leave me there like that."

"Well... okay. You cry out, 'Take me! My ass belongs to you, Sven!' Then you begin to climax. With a deep groan, Sven shoots his load into your tight little butt."

"That's it?"

"And you live happily ever after as Sven's cabin boy."

"That was the dumbest story I've ever heard."

"Yeah. Sorry. I don't know what came over me." I was more than a little embarrassed about it.

"But ," Mulder continued, "it got very hot at the end. Thanks, Alex." The way he says 'thanks,' is half sarcastic, but there's warmth in it too.

"My pleasure." I felt like a high school boy. I haven't felt like this in a long time.

The tone in his voice shifted. "It's good to hear from you."

Now I was really embarrassed. "Uh, yeah... You, uh, gonna be back in D.C. soon?" As if I didn't already know.

"Tomorrow night."

"Maybe I'll see you on Saturday?"

"Yeah, that would be nice."

"You better get some sleep. Night, F--" I couldn't say it. He'd never let me call him that. "Good night."


Shit. I told Fox Fucking Mulder a pirate story.

I wrapped my arm around myself and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

27 April 2000
Feedback, please: Louise Wu,  Email Me

A special thanks to beta-man Alex for pointing out that "I am a rock" Krycek becomes a marshmallow by the end of the story. Another strong man taken down by those dreaded emotions...

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